Mental health
Finding parenting a bit overwhelming?
You are not alone.
Feeling low, wobbly or anxious a lot of the time? Your feelings are valid.
1 in 4 mums experience some form of mental health illness in pregnancy or the early postnatal period
Parenting can be wonderful. It can also be hard, and lonely. Frustrating, overwhelming, isolating. If you feel this way, it doesn’t make you a bad parent. For some of us, a coffee with a friend or a bit of peace and quiet for 30 minutes, can help reset us.
But for some of us, these feelings might feel a bit more crushing, overwhelming and all consuming. If you feel like these feelings are overwhelming you and are stealing your joy, know that you are not alone. Know that however you feel, it is valid. It is estimated that 1 in 4 mums feel the same according to research – it isn’t just you.
Having suffered with postnatal anxiety after the birth of my first daughter and prenatal low mood and anxiety in my second pregnancy, I know too well the impact that mental health can have on us and those around us. For many parents their mental health struggles are exacerbated by a lack of sleep – the link between sleep deprivation and postnatal depression is heavily documented in academic research.
What I also know is that there is always hope. You won’t always feel like you do now. There are so many fantastic people and organisations that you can reach out to – sometimes talking to a stranger can be an easier first step that sharing with people you know well. Below are some fantastic charities and organisations that you can reach out to for support.
Where to get some support
o I have received perinatal mental health training through PaNDAS with the Institute of Health Visiting (iHV) – if you are thinking about booking one of my packages, you can bolt on a ‘listening ear’ call – to just offload and share some of the burden. While I am not a qualified counsellor, I can hopefully give you some reassurance and point you in the right direction of some great support.
o Health visitors and GPs are a good first point of contact if you are struggling with low mood, anxiety or any other mental health condition. Many parents are afraid to talk to health professionals about struggling with mental health and there is still an underlying fear that they will take their baby taken away - This is not the case!
o You can self-refer yourself to a local IAPT service (Improving Access to Psyschological services) - which is a free talking therapy. GPs can also refer you. Where possible, they will fast track anyone in the perinatal period (up to a year after the birth of your baby in most areas) which is something that most parents don’t know but can be vital in avoiding long wait times.
o PaNDAS (PND Awareness and Support) - is a perinatal mental health charity - they have a helpline which you can call for free, an email support system and Facebook groups - all run by volunteers, all of whom have experienced perinatal mental health issues themselves. They run local groups in some areas.
o A bit like sleep coaching, the ‘mothers mental health’ scene has exploded on social media over the last few years and while it has been great at raising awareness on things like the mental load, it can be a really noisy and overwhelming place for parents struggling mentally, to know what and who to trust. Anna Mathur is a leading expert on anxiety in motherhood and would always be my go to – she has SO much helpful (and free) information, and knows her stuff on anxiety, rage, depression etc.